As per all mums who are trying to work, raise children, work some more, exercise a la Body Coach style, keep on top of housey stuff, create amazing, home-baked healthy meals, be financially savvy and in fact save money (!), entertain little people with endless over-priced after-school activities and bestow romantic gestures on their partners (in other words – DO EVERYTHING (and more)), my to-do list is endless and even if I actually manage to tick something off it, it will immediately be replaced by at least three more things needing to be done 🙁 It’s that one-step-forward-two-steps-back thing …
Until recently, I’d been totally and ridiculously rubbish at all the things that help to keep some kind of order and instead my life resembled some kind of Chaos Theory:
I was not: keeping on top of things or being organised or saving money.
I was: forgetting to sign school permission slips, paying for school clubs, sorting financial stuff out (i.e. forgetting to pay the minimum balance on my credit card), spending too much money.
My mature and very grown up way of dealing with my spiralling-out-of-control chaos: think like an ostrich – yes, I became the ostrich-with-it’s-head-in-a-bucket-of-sand metaphor. Denial. La-la-la I can’t hear you … I basically shut my brain off and told myself that if I didn’t think about the ‘stuff’ I was worried and anxious about, that it would all just go away and that everything would be TOTALLY FINE. Nothing to worry about
I guess feelings of being swamped, overwhelmed, disappearing under a stack of letters, forms, dates, demands from schools, work, home, kids, pets, financial stuff had left me unable to (using another over-used – but totally appropriate in my case – metaphor) see the wood for the trees. And I’m definitely one of those people who, if feeling like this, will choose to ‘opt out’ and exist in a horrible state of anxiety and denial and not face facts. Not good. Not healthy. Not helpful.
So, anywhooo, things came to a bit of a head very recently and I had to have a serious word with myself (as did other half). It’s a horrible feeling when you have to face facts and realise that maybe you’ve kind of cocked up a bit … Not due to any massively ridiculous reasons but simply because sometimes, there’s just too much going on.
Briefly (and metaphorically) hanging my head in shame – I did what I had to do: I got on the phone and sorted my financial nightmare: it wasn’t easy – I’m not very good at admitting I’ve flunked however, I did speak to some super-lovely people who helped me get my shit together and get things back to how they should be. Hooray!
I also got myself a diary (with one day per page) and am now an obsessive writer-down-of-everything that I want to achieve and get done that day (and if I don’t get something done then it gets jotted down on the next date when I think it could be sorted). I also treated myself to a lovely notebook for random scribbles and an App for keeping track of all my logins and passwords.
The moral of the story: ask for help. Just do it. Don’t fret and worry about what people might think. Just DO IT. Make that call. Put your hand up. The relief of sorting stuff out will be great 🙂
And or me – so far so good – I’ve even been able to empty that bucket of sand (no more burying my head in it for me)!